Entitlement’s got a Bad Rap…

I remember years ago when the word “expectations” was being thrown around like it was a nasty little four letter word that only self absorbed nasty little people have... 

But when we look closer, there is beauty in having expectations of success…

expectations of love… expectations of joy.  Not because your “owed” but because of the holding the intention to succeed, to love or to be happy.

Then there was a consensus that it WASN’T expectations that were “bad”… it was “attachments” that were “bad.

Then I asked myself… how can I truly be “Committed” to something if I don’t have a vested interest in its success??  Because I’m kinda’ “attached” to my kids and to the success of our business.

Now the word “entitled” has become a “bad” thing…

“The government is spending more on entitlements.”

“Oh she acts like she is so entitled to be first in line.”

“What makes him feel so special? He acts entitled to whatever woman he wants?”

Well, actually… whoever gets there FIRST is ENTITLED to be first in line.

And everyone is universally ENTITLED to experience love and be happy.  So Yes… he is entitled to pick whatever woman he wants without having to apologize for his decisions.  He may not get her.. but he can choose whomever floats his boat.

Where it gets dicey is when someone abuses perceived entitlements…

"The world owes me." mindset is not entitlement...  it’s victimization.

I had a friend (stress the word HAD) when I was in my twenties that we borrowed each other’s clothes and things.  One day there was a shirt I borrowed.  I like it so much I asked her where she got it.  She told me she took it from a friend she just had a falling out with.  Her reason for taking (eh’hm STEALING) is was because of all she “had to put up with” during their friendship she “earned it”… she took what didn’t belong to her and “justified” her theft based on “entitlement”… but it was interpersonal dynamics.  She knew she was not entitled to the garment… she was acting out of spite and resentment for the relationship to not work out to her expectations (oops… there’s that word)… she was hurt… not entitled and acted out like a child.  She was never called out on her behavior.  I didn’t… but I did make a mental note.  Not but a few months later she started taking my things too. The consequence? I ended the friendship.

I like the phase “give’em an inch and they take a mile.”…

This is not about entitlement… this is about overstepping boundaries, situational infringement or flat out abuse to gain an advantage.

Is it truly “entitlement” or are people not respecting boundaries and not being called out on it?

Gaining an advantage is not “bad”… but at what cost?  Certainly not at the expense of others (unless that’s what you want… then you are entitled to that to).

We all know when we’ve taken the biggest piece of cake (or the smallest)… or if we’ve had 1 serving vs. 2 servings.  Let’s take it more extreme… People on welfare are well aware that if they have more babies, welfare will give them a bigger check… that’s NOT because they feel entitled… they do it because they’re working a system and are being ALLOWED to take more than their share by procreating.

If we don’t say anything, then it is okay… Entitling the abuser by default.   

We ARE entitled… we are ALL entitled to be:

taken advantage of… victimized… impoverished, just as we are entitled to be empowered, successful and happy.

Miriam-Webster’s Definition of ENTITLEMENT

a : the state or condition of being entitled : right

b : a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract

Synonyms: accredit, allow, authorize, be in line for, confer a right, empower, enable, enfranchise, fit for, have coming, let, license, make eligible, permit, qualify for, rate, warrant

After all that... I could not find a better word that more accurately described taking things that aren't yours while in regressed, wounded behavior.  It's all about context and attitude right?

So I reclaim the word "Entitled" as a POSITIVE for my life!

I am entitled to be happy… my happiness may be on the tail end of someone’s pain… If I chose to exploit that pain I am acting abusively… not entitled.

I am ENTITED to be happy… it is my right to be happy… I claim happiness.

Ownership of joy does not mean that there is less joy for the next person… they are entitled to happiness too.  It is limitless!!

The only denial of love, success, joy comes from our SELF… nobody can “steal” your love, “steal” your joy or “steal” your successes.

When you claim what you have already been given as a divine being from God… you are not asking for anything more or anything less. 

Everyone is entitled to unlimited happiness as well as unlimited misery.

Everyone is entitled to unlimited success as well as unlimited failure.

It is up to us to decide what we’re going to cash in on.

Since working with magnetic statements and the desire to draw to my field (for me) positive and life affirming scenarios I embrace that I am ENTITLED to (and so are YOU)…

• Why am I so happy?
• Why is it easy for me to vulnerable?
• Why am I supportive of myself and my goals?
• Why is it easy for me to love unconditionally?

So officially I’m off my soapbox fueled by semantics!