Have you ever wondered what’s so magical about falling in love?
What do you all feel when you’re “in love”?

I’m not talking about sexual chemistry and having some orgasmic experience...although there are some similarities...but truly feeling you are IN LOVE!

You feel so free, blissful, oozing with goodness, you feel like you’ve finally arrived.
You’ve come home, you’re completed...all your longings are fulfilled....

What’s really going on here?
What’s so special that’s going on in this relationship?

A key thing is that you’re experiencing a heart connection.

You feel that you are with someone you can trust.
Can simply be yourself with, totally relaxed, totally accepted.
You can gaze in each other’s eyes with open hearts and full presence and know that all is well.

You are okay. You are loved.
No need to strive, to change, to hide....

You can simply be.
Be in their loving presence.
And they can simply be in your loving presence.

You are both at home in and through, and with, each other.

Then what happens?

Over time resentments build up.

Resentments due to no longer being in truth, in authentic presence with each other.

You start to hide your hurts instead of addressing them.
Those buried hurts become resentments.

You then start to close your heart and shut down emotionally to avoid the hurts.
Hurts of the past and the present. Hurts you anticipate in the future.

End result...you become distant.
You merely tolerate each other.
You are no longer at home but running away from home.

The relationship is on a downhill turn.
All because you’re avoiding spilling the beans.
Speaking the truth. Admitting the hurts.

Why do we avoid the truth?
Because we don’t know how to express them without going into attack and blame. Without going into anger and making things worse.

We need to learn some skills in communicating our hurts without criticism, blame, attack...but in a way where we own our feelings and behaviors and both parties equally commit to doing so.

We need to come back to that original love that lies buried underneath all the hurt and anger and learn how to forgive, let go, and negotiate with fairness. To peel away those resentments and disappointments to get the love back. Here I highly recommend the work of the Hendricks, check out Gay Hendricks book 10-Second Miracle...great tips for dealing with resentments and communication.

For now though do listen in to my show, Smart, Sexy, Success tonight Aug 16 Tuesday at 6pm PDT to hear a fabulous interview with Marci Shimoff on Love for No Reason!